Puppy Blues: Is It Normal to Regret Getting a Puppy?
Updated: 13 hours ago
A week in with your new puppy, and wondering what you've done? Nearly half of new puppy parents feel the same, and it does get easier.
THE SHORT ANSWER
Yes, it's normal. A University of Helsinki study found just under half of puppy owners had a really tough time in puppyhood, and for most it eased fairly quickly. Those first four weeks home are really tough. Three things make them harder: expecting it to be easy, too much information, and comparing. What helps most is picking one trusted plan and sticking to it.
WATCH: RENEE ON THE PUPPY BLUES (1.5 MIN)
Nearly 1 in 2
Nearly half of new puppy owners have a really tough time, and about one in ten struggle at the most severe level.
University of Helsinki, 2024
Why does a new puppy feel so hard?
Lots of new puppy parents hadn't realised how hard it was going to be. There's crying, there's biting, there's broken sleep, and it's more intense than anyone warned you. It's anxiety, it's frustration and it's being tired, all at once. In over 30 years of training dogs, these are the three things I see making those first weeks harder.
1. Expecting it to be easy
We live in a world where everything's on demand. Instant fixes, instant gratification, and that way of thinking spills over into our puppies too. So we expect a new puppy to slot in just as quickly, and when they don't, it's very easy to decide something must be going wrong.
Puppies aren't that different to 20 years ago. Our expectations are.
2. Too much information
There's so much more out there than there was 20 years ago, and it's really, really confusing. So you're doom scrolling late at night, you try one thing tonight and something different tomorrow. All that chopping and changing confuses your puppy and makes the whole blimmin' situation worse.
3. Comparing
Everybody's puppy looks perfect on social media, and comparison is the thief of joy. Meanwhile at your house there's crying and there's biting, and you feel like you're failing your puppy. You're not.
How long do the puppy blues last?
Those first four weeks home are really, really tough. I can't say anything different. But in my experience it does get easier, even if it doesn't feel like it when you're in the trenches. The Helsinki researchers found the same: for most owners, the hard feelings eased fairly quickly.
What helps with the puppy blues?
Pick one trusted plan and stick to it. Then you don't have to doom scroll and you don't have to Google, and your puppy gets the same answer from you every day instead of a new one every night.
A lot of the puppy blues comes from a puppy who's overtired, a house that's full of puddles and nights that seem to go on forever. So these are the six things I'd put in place in those first couple of weeks. None of them is complicated, and they make life calmer for both of you.
1. Give them their own space from day one
As soon as you get home, go straight into the garden for a wee, then straight into their pen, their room, wherever their area is. We're not walking them round the house like an estate agent, showing them every room. They see zero of the house to start with.
Then let them have a sniff and a potter. Expect them to be a little bit nervous, a little bit nosy and a little bit unsure, and let them figure out that space without you hand-holding the whole time. When they fall asleep, let them sleep. They're going to be exhausted.
2. Protect their sleep
Under about 16 weeks, I prefer my puppies to have 18 to 20 hours of sleep a day. Breed plays a part, so some sit nearer 16 to 18, but as a general guide that stands.
You'll hear one hour awake, two hours asleep. That's fine as a guide, but some puppies can only manage 45 minutes before they spill over into an overtired little Tasmanian devil. An overtired puppy doesn't look sleepy, they look wired. They get clingy, they bite more and they suddenly forget the sit they've known for weeks. So watch the puppy in front of you, not the clock, and bring that awake time down if you need to.
Naps go in their own quiet space, where they'll actually sleep: a crate, a playpen, or their bed in a quiet room. And I never wake a sleeping puppy. If lunch is at 12 and they're still sound asleep at half twelve, lunch can wait.
3. Be their toilet alarm clock
Stop expecting your 8 to 10 week old puppy to tell you they need a wee. Most puppies can't do that yet. As far as they're concerned, the kitchen floor is just as good as the garden.
So you be the alarm clock. Take them out straight after they wake up, even from a little nap. After food, after a drink, after a play. And the second their nose goes down and they start circling, pick them up and whizz them outside. If they do have an accident, don't tell them off. It creates fear, not learning. Clean it up, and stick to your routine and rewards.
4. Teach them you always come back
You can't leave the room to make a cup of tea without your puppy crying or whimpering, and it's very easy to start thinking separation anxiety. In the first couple of weeks, we typically aren't seeing clinical separation anxiety in puppies. What we've got is a puppy who doesn't know yet that you go away and come back.
So flip it on its head and think independence training. Pop your puppy in their crate, their playpen or behind a baby gate, go and make a cup of tea, and come back to the room. You're only away as long as the kettle takes to boil. If they whimper or cry a little, as long as it isn't true distress, just ignore it. You're teaching them that you go away, but you always come back, and that always-come-back bit is the key.
5. Look at what's driving the biting
Puppy nipping is perfectly normal, so don't punish it. Do look at what's driving it, though. Is your puppy overtired? Are they biting for attention? Or is it teething, and their gums are sore? Each one needs a different answer, and an overtired puppy is usually the first one I'd rule out.
6. Do the first night your way
Everybody wants that answer that says you must do X, Y, Z. But where your puppy sleeps really depends on what works for you and your household. I tend to have them crated next to my bed, then gradually move that crate out of the room. Other people sleep in the living room with their puppy, then gradually go back to their own bed once the puppy's settled. Both work. Pick the one that suits your home, and stick with it.
Lower the bar for the first fortnight
New puppies don't want to sleep. They want to be involved in absolutely everything, and it takes them some time to settle into a routine. So it isn't going to be peachy perfect to start with, and it's not all unicorns and rainbows. If the puppy got some good sleep, went outside at the right times and you both got through the day, that's a good day.
YOUR FIRST FORTNIGHT CHECKLIST
ā Their own area set up before they come home
ā 18 to 20 hours sleep a day, naps in their own quiet space
ā Outside after every sleep, meal, drink and play
ā A kettle's worth of time apart, a few times a day
ā Biting? Check for tiredness first
ā One plan for nights, kept the same every night
That's what Puppy Club gives you: a roadmap for each common puppy problem, so you can stop searching and just follow it.
RENEE'S TIP
Choose one source of advice and stop chopping and changing. Give it a fair go before you decide it isn't working.
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Puppy blues FAQs
Is it normal to regret getting a puppy?
Yes. Just under half of the owners in the Helsinki study had a really tough time in puppyhood, so it's far more common than anyone lets on. Feeling it doesn't mean you're failing your puppy.
How long do the puppy blues last?
The first four weeks home are usually the hardest. For most owners it eases fairly quickly, and in my experience it does get easier.
Why does everyone else's puppy look so easy?
Because everybody's puppy looks perfect on social media. You're comparing your whole day, crying and biting included, with someone else's best bit.
Is my puppy crying separation anxiety?
In the first couple of weeks, it's very rarely clinical separation anxiety. Most of the time it's a puppy who doesn't know yet that you go away and come back. Short, calm spells apart, like the time it takes the kettle to boil, teach them you always come back.
How much should a new puppy sleep?
Under about 16 weeks, I aim for 18 to 20 hours a day, with naps in their own quiet space. Some puppies can only manage around 45 minutes awake before they get overtired, so watch your puppy rather than the clock.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Renee Patience Ā· National Dog Trainer of the Year 2025
Founder and head trainer of Paws Academy, with more than 30 years training dogs and a Level 6 Diploma in Applied Canine Behaviour. Renee has competed in agility, obedience and heelwork to music across the UK, including at Crufts and Olympia, has appeared on CBBC, and is the author of the Pawsitive range and the Modern Breed Handbook series. Pictured with her boxer, Kookie.
