Your Dog Isn’t Stubborn, You’re Just Speaking the Wrong Language
- Paws Academy
- May 16
- 4 min read
Why Miscommunication, Not Disobedience, Is at the Root of Most Dog Training Challenges
Let’s set the record straight—your dog isn’t being wilfully defiant. They aren’t “bold,” they’re not out to wreck your day, and they’re not giving you the cold shoulder just because they feel like it. More often than not, when your dog doesn’t respond the way you’d like them to, it’s because they don’t fully understand what’s being asked of them. It’s not about dominance or disobedience. It’s about miscommunication.
At Paws Academy, we hear it all the time. “My dog is so stubborn.” “He knows what he’s doing, he’s just being bold.” “She listens to my partner, but not me.” And each time, we help reframe the conversation. Your dog isn’t plotting against you. They just need more clarity, more consistency, and more of a two-way conversation than you might realise.
Dogs Aren’t Programmable Machines
Unlike a smartphone or a remote control, dogs don’t come with pre-set instructions. They aren’t wired to automatically understand the human world, no matter how intuitive or clever they may seem. If a dog doesn’t respond to a cue, there’s a strong chance the cue hasn’t been clearly introduced, or that the environment is too overwhelming for them to succeed.
Think about it this way—if someone asked you to perform a complex task in a foreign language, in a busy shopping centre, with strangers shouting around you, you might freeze too. That doesn’t make you stubborn. It makes you confused. And maybe a bit stressed.
The “Stubborn” Myth: Where It Comes From
The stubborn label often emerges from frustration. When you’ve asked your dog to sit for the fifth time and they still won’t budge, it’s easy to assume they’re ignoring you. But behaviour always happens for a reason. Dogs repeat what works. If sitting hasn’t been consistently rewarded, if the word “sit” has been used in a dozen different tones and situations, or if your dog is distracted by something more interesting, then not sitting isn’t about resistance. It’s about priorities and confusion.
It’s also worth noting that some breeds have been historically labelled as more “independent” or “stubborn”—like huskies, basenjis, or terriers. But these are just different working styles, not character flaws. A terrier was bred to make quick decisions underground without checking in with a human. That’s not defiance. That’s instinct.
What’s Really Going On?
Training isn’t about control. It’s about communication. If your dog isn’t responding, here’s what might be happening:
1. The cue isn’t clear. You might be saying “down” today, “lie down” tomorrow, and “get on the ground” next week. To us, they’re variations. To your dog, they’re unrelated.
2. The reward isn’t motivating enough. You might be offering a dry biscuit when they’d rather sniff a tree. Would you work overtime for stale crackers?
3. The timing is off. Dogs learn best when feedback is instant. If you’re praising them five seconds too late, they don’t know what they did right.
4. The environment is too distracting. Asking a dog to perform a behaviour in your quiet living room is one thing. Doing it in a park full of squirrels and shouting children is a different beast.
5. There’s a lack of consistency. If your partner lets the dog jump on the couch and you scold them for it, you’re sending mixed signals.
It’s Not About Power, It’s About Partnership
Training rooted in dominance, shouting, or trying to “out-alpha” your dog is not only outdated, it’s also damaging. It erodes trust, builds anxiety, and turns training into a battle. But when you approach your dog as a learner—and yourself as the guide—the dynamic shifts. You stop fighting. You start teaching.
Training becomes a shared language. It becomes an ongoing conversation, not a list of demands.
How to Start Rebuilding the Dialogue
If you’re feeling stuck, here are some ways to reframe your dog’s behaviour and begin again:
Be curious, not critical. Instead of asking, “Why won’t he listen?”, try, “What’s making this hard for him right now?”
Lower the stakes. Practice cues in quiet, familiar places before levelling up. Master sit in the kitchen before you expect it at a dog-friendly café.
Reward generously. Especially when teaching something new, don’t be stingy with praise or treats. Celebrate the small wins.
Be patient. Learning isn’t linear. Progress might look messy, and that’s perfectly normal.
Ask for help. That’s where we come in.
We’re Not Just Here for the Easy Dogs
At Paws Academy, we specialise in helping dogs labelled as stubborn, difficult, or untrainable. We know those labels don’t tell the full story. Whether you’re dealing with recall issues, pulling on lead, jumping up at visitors, or selective listening, we can help you decode the behaviour and build better communication.
Our trainers are experienced, compassionate, and results-driven. We work with dogs of all ages, breeds, and backgrounds—and we work with humans too, because training is a team sport.
We offer both in-person training in Ireland and virtual consultations for clients worldwide. So whether you’re local or halfway across the globe, we’ve got your back.
Let’s Rewrite the Story
Your dog isn’t stubborn. They’re confused, overwhelmed, under-stimulated, or misunderstood. But most importantly, they’re trying in their own way. And when we start listening more carefully, and communicating more clearly, big changes follow.
Training doesn’t need to feel like a chore or a power struggle. It can be rewarding, fun, and genuinely life-changing. All it takes is the right approach and the right support.
So if you’ve ever found yourself yelling across the park, pulling your hair out because your dog just won’t listen—take a breath. They’re not doing it to you. They’re doing the best they can with what they know.
Want help speaking your dog’s language?
Get in touch with Paws Academy today
We offer private training, group sessions, and virtual consultations to suit your lifestyle.
Let’s work together to make training feel easier, more enjoyable, and actually effective.
